Posts Tagged dale carnegie

Dealing With an Useless or Demotivated Co-Worker

Not too long ago, a close friend of mine hit me up asking for recommendation on how I would deal with a co-worker that does not do his job. I bet that friend of mine is not the only one on that situation. When working in team whether at work or as part of team’s association or group, one of the main and big challenge is in engaging everyone to commit in giving the best at 100% for the task to be achieved. Yet, not everyone goes the extra-mile and some even under deliver, giving up on the group and therefore penalizing everyone. How to deal and boost an useless co-worker?

Back when I was Organizational Leader at the Southwestern Company for one of the French team, my job was not only in building a team of salespeople, but also to train the team and to coach the team in the field. What a tremendous experience. After 6 years of recruiting, training, and coaching, I did face in many occasions, situations when one member, and sometimes more than one, didn’t want to do his part of the assigned collective task. Most the time and whatever the task, I found out as result of my reading, and in field experiences, how to deal with an useless co-worker and following is what you definitely want to do.

  1. Go express your problem – When you found out that someone do not do his job as he was supposed to, whether you are manager or not, the first thing to do is to go and talk with the person in private. During that personal meeting, your goal is not to start arguing with the person but to tell the person how affected the overall task is because of his low performance.
  2. Level with the person – Again, especially if you are not manager, what you want to avoid here is to make the person feels bad or hurt the person self-esteem, which will make everything even more complicated. What you want to do when leveling with the person is to make sure the person knows what is expected from him or her. Some people just do not really understand what is expected from them or have an misunderstanding. So you first want to double check that assumption. If there was confusion on the person’s mind then just re-explain at the person what his/her assignment and expectations really are. That is one of the challenge in communication, making sure that the message has been understood just like you wanted to.
  3. Understand the issue – In case there was no understanding but a deliberate decision of the person to not work at his/her best, again, calm down and with a friendly attitude, try to understand what the issue is. By finding where the problem of the person is and trying to come up with a solution with an understanding mindset, you will gain the person consideration, which will engage the person to reconsider having a proper work conduct.
  4. Resell the Project – Now that the person expressed himself, you want to resell him/her on the importance of the task to be done and the key role he/she plays in order to get the job done.
  5. The “I need You” close – Recognition and praise are the two most important things people are looking for other than money and sex. As you conclude your personal meeting with the person you want to tell the person that you wont be able to work at your best without his/her best input. Just go ahead and tell the person: I need you, I need your help. Once you say that, you want to make sure the person commit in giving the best of his/her potential. Just ask: Can I count on you? As you ask, make sure you look at the person in the eyes and show the sincerity of your request.

Dealing with people just requires that irrefutable law of relationship: put yourself in the person’s shoes. As you try to deal with a co-worker that does not do his work, remember this great advice from Dale Carnegie: begin in a friendly way, arouse in the person an eager want, show respect to the other person’s ideas and desires, and ask questions instead of giving direct orders.


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The Power Behind Names

Names are importantNames! Names! Names! Names are important. Whether for you personal, social, or professional life, names get you in. I first learned about the importance of names back in 2004 when I first started working with the Southwestern Company as an independent sales dealer. Our sales talk was sewed around dropping names that our prospects could connect to. Today, when I propose my services as Relationship Strategist for individuals and corporates, when I meet with friends and make new friends, when I ask for business referrals, I can still notice how important names are. Folks, this is Max, Your Relationship Strategist and this post is about about the power behind names because RELATIONSHIP MATTERS.

Imagine yourself moving in a new country or new area and you know no one and no knows you. How would give yourself credit? In business, as you prospect for new clients in a new area, what would make you and your offer legit? Imagine yourself hitting on this absolutely charming and very attractive lady, how would you approach her? Well, to all those questions, names play a key role.

  1. Names help to connect – Numerous times, at a network event, at a party, at a job interview,  at a friend’s diner, or event during a business transaction, names is what helped me to positively differentiate myself from others.  I remember when selling books with the Southwestern Company as a student, I used to drop about 10 to 15  names with  1 may be 2 connecting names to have a targeted prospect let me get inside his house so I could do my demonstration. Today as I look for future clients, new ways to expose my service, names is the one tool I constantly use so I can get connected.
    HOW DO YOU USE NAMES TO CONNECT? Here is the key: give names to get names. Let the person in front of view know the people you already dealt with and you have good relationship with. If you already did the research and you know the one person you both know, then drop that name. That name is what I call the connector. The connector helps to make connections.

    – You must be Franck?
    – Yeah that’s me. (looking surprised)
    – I heard so much about you from Steven McGregor, a business partner of mine and now close friends.
    – Yeah I know Franck, he is a close relationship of mine.

    From that point on, the connection through the connector has been established, the next step will be to treat the person as a VIP and later to introduce the purpose behind this new connection but I will give you strategies on that in a future post. Whether you are talking about a friend, a business partner, a company, or a product, the same approach can be used to help make the connection: give names and connecting names.

  2. Names give credibility – By giving names, you do what I call the “open card”, you make yourself transparent to the person in front of you and you send me a very important message: if you want, you can ask about me to those people, you can check the performance of that product, you can check my last work with that company… In these times where competition is tough, people’s trust low, having people or other types of referencing that can speak on your name is definitely a plus. Giving names gives you that plus as it makes you legit.
  3. Names give opportunity – As you go to create a new contact, to approach a new prospect, to enter a closed networking  group, your goal is to establish a relationship that will facilitate and lead to sell your product, get your job, be part of the closed networking group… For each of those cases, names are like your passport. The names you gives tell about who you deal with and allow then to rate you and to guess about what kind of person you may be. Therefore based on the names you drop, the use of those names as of their presentations and later the introduction of what you have to offer, the person in front of view will give you the opportunity to at least express yourself. In few words, tell who you know, if I connect to those people and I respect them, then I’d love to hear about you and what you have to offer. Then if you sound great to me and so sounds your offer, then I’d love to deal with you.
  4. Names set you apart – I love the Dale Carnegie Training. I did their training in Cologne (Germany) in 2001, I did it again in 2004 in Paris (France), and I last year in 2008 I took another class  of the  Dale Carnegie Training in the Nashville,TN (United States). At each of those classes they thought me how to remember people’s names and the greeting people with their names properly pronounced, with love and respect. What a powerful tool to create a tremendous long-lasting impression in people mind right from the first time you meet. Greeting people with their names from the first time you meet them set you apart. It shows consideration, and care. It touches in a very good way, people’s self-esteem. Dan Moore, the President of the Southwestern Company, is a great practitioner of that tool and through the Southwestern Company internship, they teach constantly teach to students who participate to the program how to use names as a tool to value people and positively set themselves apart.

How good are you at remembering people’s names? How good are you at using them properly? You stuff done, you need connection, then work on your names. You need some help on it, let me know, I can connect you to experts in the subject. My name is Max and remember… RELATIONSHIP MATTERS.

For some more tip on other subjects please visit: Act2be Blog. To get connected to Self Improvement Experts, visit

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