Archive for December, 2010
Do people usually come to you to ask for advices? Does it happen that somehow you feel like they don’t buy in your advice and then you wonder why they come to ask for advice if they are not ready or willing to listen? This situation might happen at home with your significant other, at work with your colleague or even with your friend. They come and say please I need your advice in this and then the two of you start arguing and what was meant to be a source of help is now a fight where each party want to have the last word.
I attended a webinar from Brendon Burchard and watch one of his video where he points out the 5 keys to offer great advices. Here is how it goes:
- Be present. When someone comes to you and say: I need your advice, the first thing they are asking you is to give them your time, to focus on them, and to connect with them. If you do want to give that person in need an advice, then stop everything that you are doing, stop thinking about your personal stuff from home or work, and listen actively to that person’s problem.
- Acknowledge and appreciate. Too often when asked for advice, people want to immediately correct or criticize the person in need. What you want to do is to listen to how the person really feels and acknowledge. Don’t try to change or transform the person feeling right away. Let them know you understand their actual situation and feelings.
- Ask questions. Remember in the first point I said you have to be an active listener? You don’t want to reflect the image of someone who just look at the person with no return or feedback. you might want to give some “Uh Mmm!!” to show that you are not bored or asleep and most important you want to ask questions that are solution oriented. Some people even when they come and say the want your advice, most of the time it might be that they just want to talk and express themselves, some other time is that they want someone who will help them find the solution on their own. So ask questions that help the person understands his/her situation.
- Make the person feel better. Understand that people don’t come to you because they need someone who will yell at them or who has no sympathy for what they’re going through. The best to show sympathy and make the person feels good is to share with him/her a related story. If you went through the same situation, share it with the person and tell the person how you handled it. If a friend or relative of yours went through the similar situation, share the story. Most of the time, people want to know that they are not alone in that situation and want to know how the others made it through.
- Give your advice. Finally, you want to give your advice in a very directive way. When someone comes and ask you for advice, they believe you can help. So when you give your advice you want to give it a way that justify your choice as the advisor. Based on your experience, your knowledge, your understanding of the situation, tell the person in a directive way what to do.
We all have people one day or the other that comes to you for an advice and the time we give for that advice and the way and professionalism that we give it can definitely change the person life.