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Scan your heat. Are you really happy and feel like party when a friend of yours calls to share his success with you? If most people were honest, they would probably admit to feelings of jealousy or envy when they witness others’ achievement. You might think that’s true if it’s not a close friends…Well I am afraid that is true no matter how strong the relationship is. Myself, I’ve fought feelings of jealousy. But here is what I found out: if you want to win with people, you have to learn how to celebrate with them instead of ignoring or undermining them. How???? This is what I am about to share…take some note.
- Understand and accept that where you are today is because of the choices you made or continue to make. You need to stop putting the guilt on others. If today you are not where you wanted to be and someone else is, well dig a little bit more and you will see that and one point you made choices and he didn’t. He/she has been willing to pay a price of sacrifice that you haven’t been willing to pay and today it’s nothing but he/she payday.
- Realize it’s not a competition. When I got married, I have some of my friends that come to me or called me to say they wish to be on the same seat very soon. At first I was like “hold on a minute…I didn’t get married because a friend of mine got married but because I met the heart of my life and couldn’t wait any longer to be united to her as one” but then after reflexion I was actually flattered by those statements. I’ve realized that nothing of real significance can be accomplished only by one person. Success can be achieved only with others, lessons can be learned only from others, and legacy is left only for others. Whatever one does has an impact on the people around. All we have to do is to choose with our attitude how we we’d like to be impacted: positively or negatively? That’s all it takes to enjoy of someone success.
- Become a party starter. Becoming a party starter means two things: celebrate your friends’ success and be one of the main organizer and second celebrate even what they don’t see as successful. I remember a year ago my wife got herself a new car (the Toyota Camry 2010). I was very happy for her but was wondering how I can show her my happiness. Then what I did was throwing a surprise party for her and I invited all her close friends at our place on Sunday while she was still at church. For her, buying a new car wasn’t much a sign of success even if she had to cut on some things to afford. She neglected the price of sacrifice she was paying and what I did and she appreciated very much was to show us that those little things that you do but tend not to consider as success are for us the real definition if what success really means. That worked for my wife and would work for any other person whether it’s a colleague, teammate, brother, sister, client, or boss.
- Encourage, show support. When I watched the VMA (Video Music Awards) or the Oscars, there one thing that touched me the most: the people behind the scene whose names are pronounced by the winners as sign of gratefulness. Sometimes we think that we need to be part of the team to encourage or that we have to win something to encourage a peer. Well, what I notice is that when you show that you care and encourage someone to succeed, when that person succeeds, he/she most of the time will acknowledge the part you played in helping him/her succeed and his/her success become the success of the two of you.
I’ve learned from one the self-help book that I read the following: “A genuine friend encourages and challenges us to live out our best thoughts, honor our purest motives, and achieve our most significant dreams.” I believe that’s what we need to do with the most important people in our lives and maybe with simply everyone in our lives.
What do you think?