Can I choose my friends?

Can I choose my friends?

Hello friends, bloggers, facebookers, twitters…no matter how you came across this blog, I am glad you made it here and hope that you will share the post because RELATIONSHIP MATTERS. Last night I was inspired enough to write this quote I came up with on my facebook page: “In relationship, do not ask what someone can do for you, but what you can do for the person. It is not how you can be served, but how you can serve. Not what you can benefit, but what they can benefit from you. To be there for others is not just relationship, it’s also leadership.” If we look at relationship as a way to help provide help to people of our network, as a way to be present in their life, can we then choose our friends? Now if I can’t choose my friends how do I manage to be present in a non-stop growing list of friends?

When I was a kid, my parents to protect me used to manage my network telling which friend I should walk with or not. After I left home, went to college and started different internships, I used to be told to watch out people I hang out with. Now, however, I understand that it’s not much about the people you are with but about your view and understanding of relationship, about your values and principles of life.

I and I only is responsible of my life and must run it based on what I believe in according to the values I cherish and principles I commit and discipline myself not to break no matter who I am with. Should I not consider to be in touch with one friend because he aims at small goals? NO. Should I not consider be friend to Bill Clinton because he once cheated on his wife? No. Should I not consider be friend to Maradonna because he once being Drug addict? No. Should I not consider be friend to … because of…???  People change and the reason people is because of the support their friends bring on the table.

I strongly believe, it’s inappropriate to choose friends but we can choose who to be close to. My wife is my best friend, I share all my plans, thoughts,  and projects with her. I have about 100 people from 15 years old to about 50 years old in my network that I can call anytime and they will pick up the phone, and I plan to take that number to 5 thousands.Relationship Matters. Why? Because my understanding of relationship and the advices I give them has a positive influence in their live. When you choose a friend, not only you hurt somebody self-esteem, but also you limit your opportunity to positively somebody’s life. In his book “Never Eat Alone”, The worldwide Relationship expert Keith Ferrazzi says we must not keep score. Relationship like friendship is about generosity.

Like I said, you can’t choose you friends, but you can choose who to be close to. In his book “Think and Grow Rich” Napoleon talks about a Mastermind group. That is a group of people from your close network that helps you focus and keep up on your dreams to be accomplished. We all need a mastermind group because of the positivity that circulate and that you can later share with others in need.

How can we then keep up with a non-stop growing list of friends?

  • You work – The work you do is not just get paid and pay your bills. Your work is the best way to be present in people’s life because through your work, you are providing a service. That is why when choosing your work you have to be careful that you love it and the it fulfills you.  The better you get at your professional career or life purpose, the more you can help through a single achievement, and the more people will need you. In fact, managing your friend’s list is not just about calling them everyday but more about finding a way to impact their life through a defined channel that will leave your prints in their life.
  • Connect directly with them – The direct connection to your friends remains, I bet, the best way to keep up with them. Give phone calls from time to time, send an email to give some of your news and ask about their news, send text messages, write on their facebook wall, poke them, send an e-card for all special occasions like birthday, Christmas, Easter…
  • Organize your friend list – There are different ways to organize your friend’s list and there are lot of help out there for it. Linkedin website does a tremendous work with that [SEE HOW TO DO IT], Gmail and Hotmail do as well. Personally, the way I do organize my network list is by industry category and location. The reason behind it is that if I have a question about sales I can easily go check fiends I have under the sales industry and see who to call to have answers. Also, if a major event happens in one industry, I can easily know whose friends I need to send an email to express my thoughts.

Just like a great friend of mine (Yacine Bahri, the Founder of the video sharing website Buzzmoica.fr) told me recently, keeping up with friends is pretty demanding but the rewards can be tremendous. I hope you enjoyed this post, share it with your friends, close friends, and relatives. If you need help let me know or find another expert at Act2be.com

My name is Max, your Relationship Strategist, and remember RELATIONSHIP MATTERS.

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  1. #1 by Deb on October 7, 2010 - 4:20 am

    I so want to believe I can be like you, being a positive friend, but recently, having 2 surgeries that require me to be at home, with needs as simple as not being able to prepare a meal, I receive messages on my facebook page that say, “I’m too busy at work, but was thinking of you…call me”. I immediately delete that “friend”. I am so bitter, and would love to think I can do what you say in your article, which I stumbled upon! Alo to think about…

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